Leaving Neverland
by annehbird
Summary: Emma's back in Storybrooke and even though everything should be fine now, her decision of taking the famous Captain Hook with her changes everything; unwilling to admit her feelings are taking a new direction towards the pirate, cautious Emma finds herself in a swirl of confusion, adventures and new unexpected feelings.
1. Prologue

**A/N:**Some stuff before reading it, hehe: I'm from Mexico so I speak Spanish mostly; if you see many grammatical or orthographic errors I'm really sorry I have tried my best to have as less mistakes as I can. Secondly, as I said I'm from Mexico and here the last brand new episode was 'Child Of The Moon' so I really don't know what happens next but I've had some sneak peeks on the 'Queen of Hearts' episode but I can't say I know what really happened after all. I hope you enjoy though!

**Prologue**

_So lying underneath those stormy skies_

_She said, I know the sun must set to rise._

The pirate felt a twinge of pain going all over his head; he doubted opening his eyes was a good idea. So he stayed there, as still as he could with eyes closed, trying to remember what had happened. Some images appeared in his mind as flashes; the compass, Aurora's heart, Emma and him fighting, and then he remembered the punch.

_For Capt'n Blackbeard's sake! _He thought, _Knocked by a women. _

There was a few seconds where he actually laughed inside his head, he knew he hadn't been punched by any women, ha had been punched by Emma and _that_ was pretty much why he liked her in the first place. After that, reality came back and other kind of pain gripped his heart. He knew that feeling; he had been living with it since Milah was gone. And now, after all he had gone through, after all those years of planning his revenge, that day he had dreamt with… Now it was all lost.

He felt his anger grew all over his body. He felt like screaming and crying, but the headache mixed with the tiredness of his body stopped him from doing so. He gave up thinking about it, there wasn't a toxin of hope in his body anymore, all that venom that made him believed he could get to Storybrooke was already out of his system and replaced with anger, frustration and a bit of madness.

Slowly, Killian tried opening his eyes, expecting the sun impacting against them. But all he was able to see was darkness. He couldn't believe he had been unconscious so many hours. He hadn't expected Cora to take care of him after all, but it would have been nice if she at least had helped him woke up or something.

He wasn't getting up anytime soon, he knew his head would kill him of pain if he did. He let go a sigh when his hand touched this soft sheet beneath him. He realised under his head was a pillow instead of sand and over him a ceiling instead of sky. He sat despite the cries of his head begging him to go back to the last position.

He looked around the room; it was nothing he had ever seen before. From one corner to another, there wasn't a thing he could recognise, nothing that could tell him where he was or who had him captive.

A glow of blond hair emerged from the shadows of one of the corners of the room. It took a few seconds for him to realise who she was. A smirk replacing all the vulnerability he had moments ago.

She had watched him for a few hours now. Thinking about the stupid decision she had made. He couldn't be here, and now he was and it was her fault. She replayed the scene over and over again in her head.

The way Mary Margaret had taken her hand, ready to go and the way she had ruined everything by making that stupid decision in that stupid moment asking her mom to wait for her and taking Hook's body with her. She would never forget Mary Margaret's expression.

The worst part was the arrival to Storybrooke; the moment she stepped on the ground after recovering from the fall, she knew her decision was going to change everything apart from the fact she had put in danger the whole town, not to mention his son.

She knew she had been selfish, something she wasn't used to, she had always put everybody first but this was somehow accidentally. Of course she knew what she was doing and yes, she had wanted to stop herself… But, as cheesy as it was –which made Emma unwilling to admit it was true at all- something beyond her mind and her use of reason had made her took that decision.

Her eyes traced his face for the twentieth time, something had changed. He looked more vulnerable and the gestures on his face were somehow more vivid than minutes ago. She tried to realise what was going on inside his head. She grasped that at any moment now, she would see those blue eyes open and looking at her and her stomach would suffocate into a million butterflies, her mind wouldn't think straight and his heart would skip a beat; so she took a few steps back hiding herself in the shadows, just in time. He had opened his eyes, despite the darkness, she could see his vulnerability and in that moment she knew he thought he had lost the thing that had kept him alive all this time; the possibility of revenge. She had lost a minute or two wondering in her mind when she realised his eyes were on her, the vulnerability still in his look but a cunning smile taking over his mouth. And as she predicted, her stomach was a nest of butterflies, her mind was in blank and her heart had skipped a beat.


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Hello! I hoped you liked the prologue. The response I had was incredibly awesome; I seriously kind of panicked… It's my first story so everything counts haha. Thanks for the reviews and follows and faves and views. It means the actual world. I wanted to answer to the reviews but they don't let me until I've had 24 hrs and all that stuff, but I will!

Now, Chapter one will be a little confusing but give me a few more chapters and everything will be clearer. I'd have wanted a better way for Henry and Emma to see each other again but it had to be done this way I guess.

I really do hope you like it and if not please criticize me as much as you can, I'd love to hear your opinions. Hope is not really shitty. And enjoy.

**Chapter 1**

**Anthems of a Seventeen Year Old Girl**

_Used to be the one of the rotten ones  
and I liked you for that  
now you're all gone_

Emma wasn't stupid, she knew it. But right now she felt like a seventeen year old girl again. All those feelings she hadn't felt since… She didn't even want to think about it. A long sighed was freed by her lips, and looking at the ceiling she remembered Henry telling her one day after school, everything was meant to be, everything that had happened to her –good and bad- was part of her destiny.

'And at the end of the day' He had smiled, 'you will have to accept it and fight against it, cause you know, that's what heroes do. Accept their destiny and fight to get something better.' God that kid was smart.

One thought after another made a chain in her head and something clicked. Somehow, something made her believe that may be taking Hook with her was the way she was fighting against her destiny.

'This is not a fairy tale, Emma.' She remembered, sinking in the bath tub trying to get back to reality. She could listen to her heart beating against her chest, and the water going from one side to another with every little movement of hers. She took out her head from the water passing her hands through her hair. She had to get out and deal with the real problems, as soon as she thought about it she felt like throwing up.

She got out of the bathtub and covering with a towel she looked herself in the mirror. After Hook waking up they had barely talked, actually she had barely talked, on the other hand he couldn't stop teasing her. But that wouldn't happen again, she was ready to deal with him. It was her fault he was here, now it was time to fix things.

The only thing she had to do was help him with Mr. Golden and as soon as that business was finished he would be back to the Enchanted Forest in no time at all. She smiled with satisfaction. _As easy as that, _she thought knowing she was just lying to herself.

'Emma! Emma!' An angry voice called from the kitchen. She finished putting on her sweatshirt and walked to the kitchen taking her time. Hook was next to the cupboard with a handcuff in one wrist and the other on the handle of the furniture. 'I wonder, is this really necessary _princess_?' pointing his trapped hand with the stump.

'Now that I'm here it might be okay if I let you free.' Emma noticed Killian's expression softened; now it was her time to smirk. 'But I'm afraid the key managed somehow to get lost and I have the copy in my desk... At the station. And based on the fact that I'm not going to work until tomorrow morning may be. Late, late morning… Well you might stay there for a while.' She smiled with sarcasm. His expression sharp again, trying not to care over the fact she noticed to much his gestures she sat on a chair where she could visualize him, she took a magazine which was on the table and opened trying not to think about having the famous Captain Killian 'Hook' Jones just in front of her.

'Could you at least give me something to eat? I'm starving but you know love, I could do with something else. Know what I mean?' He winked at her, his annoying smile was again on his face, an eyebrow up inviting her to whatever he was thinking. He was driving Emma mad but she couldn't let him get into her nerves.

'I'm doing you a sandwich.' She sighed. While getting all the stuff she needed out, she could feel his glance, not looking away at any moment. 'Stop that, pirate!' She said exasperated.

'Stop what?' He asked glad she couldn't stand him. 'Are my eyes somehow, bothering you?' He continued all innocent.

Emma had replied that question in her mind never willing to admit the answer was about how freaking perfect his eyes were.

_Stop acting like a seventeen year old girl again, you idiot!_ She reminded to herself.

She finished preparing the sandwich, and considering she hated to cook she had made a pretty good job with it. She offered the food, only receiving a disgust look.

'First of all sweetheart, do you really think I'm getting full with that square little thing? Answer: No I'm not. Secondly, how the hell you expect me to eat without a hand and the other being… well, like this.' His hand moved a bit. 'And finally…' He wasn't able to finish, the door of the apartment had opened and a little kid entered running towards Emma.

'I missed you.' The child whispered hugging her waist. Killian noticed Emma trying to get the kid as close as possible; she had a nostalgic smile on her face which made Hook's heart pound faster than ever. His eyes wide open couldn't stop watching at the scene.

'I missed you so much, kid.' She said kissing his forehead. Killian's breath becoming irregular. He made a mayor effort to look wherever he could but there. A huge wave of feelings crashed against his body over and over again. Milah's face was all over his head, the way she used to cry when she realized she missed his son, her laugh, the day that beast had taken her away from him… He saw Emma's expression again and everything became more intense.

Breathing became more and more difficult. He felt trapped –he actually was- but in a different way, as if the darkness completely enveloped him. He was about to beg for everything to stop when he heard someone calling his name.

'Killian, Killian? Open your eyes please!' He felt the warm touch of her fingertips against his cold sweaty face. Yeah, he knew it was her; perfect Emma calling his name, begging him to wake up and he wanted to… He wanted to open his eyes and tell her how bloody gorgeous she was, and tell her he didn't know how she managed to make him feel the most wonderful and at the same time nauseating way he had ever felt.

''What happened?' He recognized the other voice as Snow White's.

'I… I don't know, one moment he was okay and the next… What if, what if it is his heart? Like with Graham?' Emma cried. He knew it wasn't his heart; it was Cora's magic though. He would recognise it anywhere, but how on earth could she be doing this? She wasn't in Storybrooke, no way. And if she was, why would she be doing this to him? They were supposed to be allies, nothing had changed. He still was the prisoner of Emma.

The darkness dissipated and he was able to open his eyes again. Emma's eyes were the first thing he saw. She was against him looking with attention, behind her more pair of eyes were all over him.

'Well well well, I didn't know this side of you Swan.' He said pretending nothing had happened, smiling at Emma's confusion. 'I guess you're giving me more than just a, what was it? Oh yeah, a sandwich after all, aren't you?'

'Shut up, you…' Emma stopped herself from cursing him, knowing Henry was there.

'What's that?' Henry pointed at a little red drop on the floor. 'He didn't bleed did he?'

'No.' Emma answered 'No he…' She couldn't finish talking after Hook complains of pain.

'My hand, 'He said 'it's my hand!' Emma looked at it, for a moment he considered the handcuff had hurt him; he did hang up from it for a couple of minutes after all. But after looking at it carefully she noticed some cuts on the back of his hand.

'Give me a napkin, please.' David offered her a bunch, she took one and cleaned the blood from his hand. She realised it weren't just cuts but two words: Be Cautious.


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Hi! How are you? So here's another chapter that I hope you like. It's not really exciting but more reflexive. I wasn't sure about writing it or not but somehow I couldn't manage to change the direction of this chapter.

I really need to thank all of you, all those follows, reviews, views and faves, I swear they make me feel so good and I don't know what to say for you to believe me the mean everything to me.

Please keep reviewing me cause it helps me a lot! If you need to criticize me, please do. Suggest me, hate me, doesn't matter I'll take everything in consideration.

I really hope you do enjoy this chapter. xxxx

**Chapter 2**

**Endlessly**

_There's a part of me you'll never know_

_The only thing I'll never show_

_Cherished dreams forever asleep_

Everything is temporary and nothing permanent; love, art, the ocean with its never ending waves, even the infinite universe, everything and everyone dies. And death, silently and without advice, traps you in the most unexpected moment of all; the moment you thought it would never end, believing you had enough time. And then it's over, your time is over.

Hook had been thinking about it since the little incident in the kitchen, his hand still hurting. It had frightened him more than he could admit, he had acted as nothing had happened actually but now in the loneliness of the living room he couldn't stop tormenting himself thinking about it. He had been thinking about Cora, asking himself what stupid game was she playing now and why he was part of it; but his thoughts about her where nothing compared to the ones with Emma and Milah. He couldn't stop hating himself, his feelings for Emma betrayed his feelings for her great true love; or so he thought. Milah wasn't coming back; he knew that better than anyone, because: _Everything is temporary and nothing permanent, _he repeated in his head once more. But as controversial as it sounds, he couldn't let his love for Milah disappeared. He, against all odds wanted it to be permanent and infinite.

Between his endless thoughts, Killian noticed a pair of eyes looking at him attentively. The pirate looked back at the kid with a true smile, which made Henry go closer to him.

'Why aren't you sleeping?' Asked Henry with an in-between yawn.

'I could ask you the same.' Answered Hook amused by the kid's unexpected question.

'Yeah well, I asked you first.' Replied the boy.

'My thoughts wouldn't let me do so.' Responded Hook a little more serious now, 'Now, tell me why aren't you in bed…'

'I am thirsty' Henry was already at the kitchen, getting two glasses and filling them with milk. He came back to where Hook was and offered him a glass, Killian took it and drunk some of it surprisingly liking the white liquid. 'My mom doesn't trust you.' Henry said out of the blue. Killian's eyebrows raised at the unexpected observation.

'Well, I think is fair to say I don't trust her _either._' Hook answered eventually, finishing all the milk in his glass. 'Although she is the only one I can thank for bringing me here.' Killian said more to himself than to Henry.

'So how is it?' Asked Henry, changing the topic again.

'So how is _what?' _

'Neverland! How is it?' Killian smiled. 'I've seen it on the book but…' Henry stopped talking when he realised Hook had no idea about his book.

'I'll tell you' Hook started. 'It's like nothing you have seen before…'

Emma had woken up a few minutes ago; it was dark still and freezing. She got up from bed and walked directly to her closet, she would have gone out with her pyjamas any other day but today she had a pirate sleeping in the living room.

_A stupid sexy pirate in the living room, _she reminded herself.

Already in the living room she couldn't help it but look at the sofa where he was resting, she came a little bit closer. She noticed Henry sleeping next to him, Killian arm protectively around his son. Her mouth open without believing what she was seeing. This had to be a joke, a bad taste joke. What was Henry doing in his arms? How the hell had he ended up there?

He looked at Killian's face; it was serene as if nothing could get ruined. She couldn't stop looking at him, and for a second she felt her heart break cause that exactly, Killian hugging his son, was what she always had wanted. She hadn't tell a soul about it, not even Mary Margaret, but every time, just before she closed her eyes she always wished about having someone next to her, someone who loved Henry the way she did, someone who would always be there for her and for Henry no matter what. Someone who wouldn't leave her.

She immediately stopped thinking about it. It wasn't okay for her to start building up all those illusions, she knew after all, they were more lies she couldn't bear. And her heart couldn't get more hurt anymore or it would end up being ashes, she was sure it would never recover at all from everything she had been through but for now it had to hold on for Henry.

Emma shook her head letting all her thoughts go far away. It was just seven a.m. and she had already gone sentimental, that wasn't like her at all.

She decided a good cup of coffee was what she needed so she started the coffee pot and sat, waiting for it to finish. She suddenly felt two hands on her shoulders; she turned around to see Mary Margaret smiling at her.

'Morning!' She said enthusiastically. 'Did you sleep well?'

'Yes thank you.' Answered Emma. Her mother sat next to her, without taking her eyes off her.

'Right, I missed this.' Emma sighed with nostalgia. She had missed that too, she had missed everything in fact. Even the little stupid details she had never put attention to.

'I know, me too. I hadn't realised how much.' Mary Margaret nodded.

'Have you seen Henry? He wasn't in his room when I went to look' Emma moved his head into Killian's direction. 'Oh… Did you… I mean…'

'I just noticed.' Replied Emma not wanting to talk about it –him, specially- but she knew her mother wasn't going to stop.

'Emma, do you have feelings for him?' Emma looked at her with horror, it was obvious Mary Margaret wanted to talk about him but she never imagined she could be so direct. Her mother tried to calm her waving her hands at Emma. 'I'm sorry, is just that… I wasn't sure about it Emma I just thought you should talk about it.'

'I don't have feelings for anybody!' Emma felt frustrated 'Why would I need to talk about it anyway?'

'Well you know, yesterday you compared him with Graham. When he _fainted?' _Emma felt a lump in her throat, she hadn't realise she had done that; she had been so worried she didn't noticed she had said that out loud.

'I didn't compare him with anybody, all right? I just thought it might have been the same thing that happened to Graham that's all. I'm fine, if that's what you want to know' Mary Margaret nodded; she had touched a really complicated topic for Emma so she tried her best to understand her.

Emma got up and poured some coffee in her cup drinking from it immediately. From the corner of her eye she saw something moving in the living room. Killian had woke up and he was trying to get up without waking Henry up, after achieving it he turned around catching Emma´s glance. They looked to each other for a millisecond. Something had changed, the way he looked at her was different. Emma unaware of what had changed was the first in broking the eye contact.

What he had dreamt had made him panic more than he already was. It hadn't been a nightmare as such, but a terrible dream for sure.

_He could see himself drowning, sinking; moving his arms up and down trying to save himself, but without result. His legs fondling the fishes around him, and his lungs full of salty water. Far away, in the sand, a woman called him. It was Milah's voice, at first. He couldn't answer her, his mouth full of water. He was drowning, and yet he didn't ask for help. The woman got closer her voice changing, his heart pounding faster, Emma calling his name. He could see her blonde hair waving with the help of the air. He was about to give up, he couldn't stay afloat anymore._

'_Don't leave me, Killian. Please don't.' He heard Emma shouting at him._


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Hello! This is the longest chapter so far and I had lots of fun writing, I really love the end of it! The title is inspired in a doctor who episode, the one of Vincent Van Gogh actually. And you'll get to see I put a quote from the episode in this chapter (just to clear that up, hehe).

I really do hope you enjoy it, and please review cause it's like my drug now. Thanks for reading if you do, it means the world!

**Chapter 3**

**Starry Eyed**

_Take him and cut him out in little stars,__  
__And he will make the face of heaven so fine__  
__That all the world will be in love with night__._

Her cup of coffee had been empty for half an hour now but she couldn't make herself leave. She had planned going to the station, she hadn't been there in years and she needed to take care of the unfinished work she had left and the new one, of course. Yet, she hadn't move. Hook was across the table eating what Mary Margaret had prepared after thousand complains from him. He hadn't paid attention to her at any moment since he had woke up; and she tried to be as indifferent as she could but it was harder than she thought it would be.

She knew going to the station was going to do nothing but good to her, may be even going to Granny's and say hi to Ruby and all the others. But here she was, worried for the man who annoyed the hell out of her, the man who had betrayed her waiting at any minute for him to somehow faint the way he did the day before.

She had asked him what the hell had happened, but the only answered she got was some mockery about how worried she was about him and mumblings about how the portal might have had some second effects on him.

'Are you seriously thinking I'm buying that?' she had asked him. 'So the portal warned you about being cautious by cutting the back of your hand?'

'Well love, I'm just telling what I think. And let me say, I _think_ you're worrying too much about it so why don't you let me, you know, _de-stress_ you?' A smirk had covered his face.

'Oh, just shut up.' She had rolled her eyes.

Now sitting there, she had no doubt coming back to Storybrooke wasn't going to be as tranquil as she would have expected. A long sigh left her throat, Killian looked at her; brows arched but not a word left his mouth.

If this was all he was going to do then going to the station wasn't optional, if she didn't she would go mad trying to guess what on earth was wrong with him. She got up and took her coat from the back of the chair. Mary Margaret took off her glance from the book she was reading to lay her eyes on her.

'I'm going to the station.' She announced. 'It won't be long; I'll be back for dinner.' She had already taken five steps towards the door when she felt someone following her. It was him, without question. 'May I help you?' She asked without turning around.

'Oh, I'm sorry. Is just that I thought what you said was an innuendo for me to follow you.' Emma could smell his aroma; salty water, leather and peppermint. She felt his breathe against her neck, almost wishing for his lips to kiss her skin already. His hand taking strands of her blonde hair and placing them behind her ear. His body getting nearer to hers, almost pressing against it. 'I just wonder if the cells are comfortable enough for having a _good time.'_

His commentary made Emma react; she was able to breathe again and even to blink. She repressed a smile, a big one in fact –she had been waiting for this to happen all morning after all- and turned around to face him, their noses almost touching; she could feel his breath against hers. His eyes full of sparks, like a starry night; a deep blue sky with lighter blue over here and over there, and then shining, burning, bursting through: the stars!

'You're impossible.' She murmured, Killian's grin going bigger. 'Just to clear it up, you're staying here until I say so.' Both changing their faces, Emma had now a smile decorating her look and Hook had squeezed his jaw with anger. 'So please don't make me use the handcuffs again and behave.' Emma gave half a turn and exited the apartment.

This was just perfect. The crocodile was out there having the time of his life and he was trapped in an apartment with Snow White, thanks god Prince Charming and the kid had gone out or he would have died with all the awkwardness filling the room.

He liked the kid, Henry; he might even remind him of his childhood, something he had forgotten long ago. And he couldn't blame himself for doing so, after living all those years in Neverland and then at Cora's service he had buried all those memories, one after another, never letting them out.

He sat on the couch with a face it would remind you of a kid's tantrum, trying to plan the best way out of there. He had stuff to do and Emma wasn't going to ruin his plans, this was the moment he had dreamt of long years ago and this apartment was just a little obstacle before getting to the big price, his revenge. The sweet pleasure of killing the beast that had took the only woman he had_ loved._ He tried to emphasize the last word; trying to prove himself that Emma was just another challenge he wanted to win. But argh, he needed to stop lying to himself.

'He cut his ear.' He heard Snow White telling at him.

'I beg your pardon?' He asked confused.

'The paint you have been looking at all this time… The artist who made it cut his own ear.' Hook hadn't even realise he had been looking at this strange painting; it had this sky full of stars and a village in the inferior right corner.

'Was he bloody out of his mind?' Asked Killian, he had never seen something like that before.

'They say, he was madly in love so he wanted to give her a part of him. He gave her his ear.'

'Aye' Said Hook, starting to freak out about how weird this dimension was. ´Bloody mad, he was.'

'If what I've heard of you is true then you two aren't as different as you think, Killian.' Wanting to hide his surprise to such affirmation, and guessing where the conversation was going he answered with a question.

'So, then my story is more famous than I thought, huh?' Hook was astonished by how indifferent he sounded.

'You lost your hand for love, didn't you Hook?' He had been right; she had been talking about Milah all this time. He couldn't look at Snow White anymore so he turned around looking through the window. He hadn't talked about Milah like this to anyone; his thirst of revenge had taken over him all this years. And right now he was trying so hard to hide his pain, but he just couldn't; all this years trying not to show it had tired him to the point he didn't want to think anything, anymore.

'I didn't just lose my hand, though.' He said eventually still looking at his reflection on the glass.

Several minutes had passed since Killian had talked when he saw this blue shadow from the corner of his eye. He came closer to the window with his eyes half closed trying to see the shadow again. He did. An electric blue going from here to there as quickly as it could.

Suddenly it stopped, the blot was now clearer. His eyes wide open looked with surprise at the woman smiling at him. Her mouth going from that frivolous smile to an 'o' whistling the way she always did when she called him.

His chest going up and down trying to breathe normally, but he couldn't. He wasn't supposed to fear Cora; he had been serving to her all these years, why was he feeling like this? Terrified.

He saw her whispering a word that without advice resounded in his head. _Hurry._

He turned around and walked with all the intention of getting out of the flat. He didn't care Snow White would stop him, he was telling Cora she stayed far away from him; now that both had what they wanted she was useless to him. He heard Emma's mother behind him shouting for him to stop but he didn't.

'I´m not going anywhere, _your highness._' He answered, partly teasing, partly serious.

A couple of meters and he would be venturing into the woods following after Cora. His face got scraped by some branches he didn't see, cleaning the blood with his hand he scowled; he was fucking done with this stupid game of hers.

Sow White had lost him far behind, he couldn't listen her yells anymore. Oh, what Emma would do when she found out about it.

_Hello again handcuffs_, He thought angrily.

'For a moment I thought you weren't coming.' Cora's voice said behind him, turning around he noticed the smile on her face.

'For a moment I doubted too.' He answered with exasperation. 'What do you want, Cora?'

'Feeling not so well, are we.' Teased Cora. Hook squeezed his jaw making it look more prominent. 'Let's say right now what I need is Emma. Her life, to be precise.' Killian's soul fell to the ground. 'Now, don't give me that look you poor lover.'


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Hello! I know, I know… it took me too long to update is just that I'm on finals and this week my time wasn't as organized as I would have liked so yeah. My apologies.

This chapter kind of breaks my heart but I don't think is really good I hadn't had much time after all. That said, I hope you enjoy it and like. Thank you for reading it xx

**Chapter 4**

**Selfishness **

_Now I'm drifting out over deep oceans_

_And the tide won't take me back_

_And these desperate nights I'll call you again and again._

'I'm not your puppet anymore, Cora.' Hook said bitterly, looking at his heart on Cora's left hand. 'If you haven't noticed love, I'm where I wanted to be; I'm not needy of one of your favors anymore. Let alone, you weren't exactly the one who brought me here.'

Cora´s laugh slaughtered the pirate's ears. He couldn't look at her anymore, he knew at the end he would do whatever she wanted even if it meant killing Emma. It was stupid to continue arguing with her.

'Oh my dear pirate,' Cora wasn't even hiding the pleasure she was feeling by looking at Killian's suffer. 'are you seriously thinking you can have your revenge over Rumpelstiltskin without my help?' Killian's gestures sharpened, his right hand became a fist; he could feel the heat on his face and his blood boiling inside his body. She was right the curse had been broken and the crocodile wasn't lacking magic.

'I'll do it Cora; I'll take her life for you. Now give me my heart back, will you love?' His voice was soft and gentle now, he acknowledged what Cora liked.

'Now, now; that's my boy.' She said getting closer with an almost flirty look in her eyes. Her hand going through his chest placing the missing organ in its right position. The uncomfortable feeling disappeared from his body and letting him reast somehow. He looked back at Cora whose eyes had become threatening 'Don't you dare fail me Hook, the consequences would be disastrous.'

'Have I ever?' He said turning around following his steps, leaving the trees behind him along with Cora.

'Emma! Emma!' Mary Margaret ran into Granny's searching all over the place for her daughter. She finally found her with Henry and David having some lunch. 'Hook is gone.' She told her without breath.

'What? What do you mean he is gone?' Henry asked. They had to wait for Mary Margaret to recover to get an answer.

'He just left, I tried to stop him but he ran into the woods and I lost his track.' She shook her head. 'Oh dear, this is my entire fault.' David took her in his arms kissing her forehead.

'We will do something about it' He assured her.

'No,' Emma was now looking through the window 'this is my fault.' She knew it, she fucking knew it. She had put in danger her family by bringing that pirate with her and now anything could happen; what it was worst, he could bump into Mr. Gold anytime now. Her brow furrowed, she was full of anger towards herself. Anything could happen now; yet the only thing she was worried about was Killian being hurt.

'Who's lost?' Ruby asked intrigued after listening part of the conversation. David smiled, the solution had showed itself. They hadn't time to explain the girl what was going on, they left the diner immediately following the wolf girl. 'What's his aroma again?' Asked Ruby wrinkling her nose.

'Leather and salty water. And maybe peppermint, but I'm not sure.' Emma answered blushing.

'Definitely peppermint.' reassured Henry. Ruby nodded running in the same direction Mary Margaret had come from. Emma was just behind her, looking from left to right, and from right to left wishing to find him soon enough.

'This way!' Ruby shouted getting ahead of everyone else. Emma tried to keep her steps but it seemed impossible. Just before going into the woods Ruby turned around facing the four others. 'He's definitely in there.' Emma nodded.

'I'll go.' She said determined to do it alone. Her eyes could see the three faces of her family gesturing protest against her demand.

'I'm not letting you alone, Emma' David said.

'I need you to take care of Henry,' Answered Emma patiently 'please? I'll be okay, is not like I can't handle it.' She nodded to Ruby to take her where the pirate was. 'Let's go' Ruby entered into the woods with stealth, Emma next to her just waiting for him to appear any minute now. Ruby stopped when she arrived to a certain point where the pines were very few.

'The aroma continuous there,' The girl wolf pointed to the north. 'But the stench is stronger here, is like he came back from wherever he was going.'

'Sending a wolf after me, love?' His voice echoed around both, Emma and Ruby. 'Quite intense, if I may say.'

Emma turned around twice searching for the spot where his voice came from but she just couldn't get to find it, it was like he was everywhere surrounding them. Ruby took Emma by her wrist and stopped her from giving another turn. A rap behind them made them turn around once more; and there he was, just in front of them, with open arms and bowing for them.

'I can't lie Emma, I thought you would be here sooner.' He teased. His voice was warm, almost as if his promise to Cora had never been promised, as if his heart had never left his body and as if the tear that had fell from his eye the moment Cora was out of sight had never been dropped.

'Ruby, please go tell David everything is okay. I can handle it from here.' Her friend doubted but eventually nodded leaving Hook and Emma behind, just before she couldn't see them at all she turned her head back to make sure everything was okay.

Emma tried to look at him with hate, but she was just too tired for doing it. She was tired of not knowing what the hell she wanted, of not knowing how to act, done of doubting, of feeling everything was her fault because the weight of that was too much for her now, she couldn't handle her fear of falling too hard for him or the fear of her heart to be crushed once more and even worse she was done pretending nothing happened; it did. She liked him but that was that, because he was her forbidden fruit; always on her sight but never close enough for her to take him in her hands, always two centimeters away. Why did she struggled so much for him? Why did she hold on to that impossible person? Was it really worth it fighting for him even when she only got a minute of happiness for a whole life of tragedy? Because at the end, as every person in her life, he would leave.

'So what is it going to be now? Are you using the handcuffs again or do you have another method now to keep me still?' Hook was smirking at her getting closer and closer to her body. Emma stopped him with her hand on his chest causing his smile to magnify.

'Do whatever you want Hook, it is my fault you're here I don't deny it but this is it. You're not my responsibility and let me say I don't care anymore if you're going after Mr. Gold or Rumpelstiltskin just don't hurt anybody else in this town, you hear me Hook? Because if you do, this time the handcuffs aren't going to be the only thing that keeps you still.' Her eyes like knives, looking at him, stabbing his glance. 'I helped you Killian Jones, pay me back by not hurting the ones I love.' Her voice softened but her face was sharper than the time she started talking.

Pushing pass him she started her way back to the road, her arms hugged herself. She thought she would be feeling better now, but she didn't. The weight she wanted to lift from her shoulders was still there. Behind her Hook's laugh resonated, she turned around full of anger.

_What a jerk!_- The little voice shouted in her mind.

'What's so funny?' She asked.

'You.' He answered simply, Emma scowled.

'Excuse me?'

'Do you think I'd really believe all the shit you just told me?' Emma's brows arched in confusion. 'Oh please love, I'm smarter than that.'

'Well explain me then cause it seems I'm not.'

'Don't lie to yourself anymore, Emma' He came closer to her, his mouth centimeters away from her ear. 'What you said had not a shred of truth, darling. You still care, you just are afraid. But tell me Emma,' He whispered in her ear. 'What are you afraid of? Me? Nah, don't think so. Of your beloved ones getting hurt? Maybe. Or is it just…? Yeah I think I got it, is it of _you_ getting hurt?' He backed off a few centimeters just to see her reaction. 'Are you that selfish Emma?' His voice coming back to the teasing tone.

Emma's hand impacted on his cheek leaving a red mark on it. He really wasn't expecting that, he blinked with surprise taking a few minutes before looking at her. Her eyes were red, almost puffy and full of lost tears falling to the emptiness. He felt aberration against him, he was only trying to make her feel bad, make her feel the way he felt, he was the selfish one. He preferred giving her life away before losing the chance to get his revenge. He was just trying to make her believe she was the bad one when in reality she was the most unselfish person giving up everything just to help the person who needed it. Within the rot he was, you could find her like a shining flower trying to save him from himself and yet he was letting her go away.

Emma stepped away from him, still tearing she gave some steps before Killian's right hand pulled her from her waist. She resisted at first but it wasn't long before she let him drive her close to him. His head sunk in her hair memorizing her smell; his lips kissing the line of her jaw, going down to her throat, his tongue feeling the vibration of a soft moan. He looked up, her eyes closed, her mouth almost open and her lips shouting for his lips to kiss them. He didn't move so Emma opened her eyes, she realized Killian was just making her want him even more which was almost impossible considering the fact she had waited enough for this to happen.

The pause made Emma's head drown into a million thoughts most of them full of fear. He felt Killian's face coming nearer so she pushed him away.

'Stop it, I can't' Emma walked away again wishing his hand stopped her anew, but she knew it was apart from impossible, stupid.

'Emma,' Hook whispered; he had remembered his dream, Emma begging him to stay with her, not to leave her. 'please Emma, don't push me away.' But Emma didn't stop walking.


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Hello! New chapter, yaaaaaay. I like this one pretty much and I hope it makes up for how shitty the last chapter was. This chapter has a lot of _holes –_let's say- but the next one almost everything will be clearer also, I had to add this local pub in the story for it to make sense so I hope you don't mind. I really do hope you like it, and please tell me what you think or if you have some opinions or suggestions I will help me a lot, a lot, a lot.

Hope you enjoy xx –those were a lot of _hopes_ ehehe.-

**Chapter 5**

**All for you**

_There is love in your body but you can't hold it in  
It pours from your eyes and spills from your skin  
Tenderest touch leaves the darkest of marks  
And the kindest of kisses break the hardest of hearts_

'Knew you'd be here.' David appeared with a supportive smile. Emma had passed the last days in the station making herself busy, working from 8:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m., non-stop. 'Brought you some lunch.'

'You shouldn't have bothered.' Emma gave him back a smile but it didn't reach her eyes.

'No track of him, huh?' Emma knew who he was talking about; she had spent her hours in the station trying to find him instead of making her job. It had been nine days since she had left him in the forest, and it drove her crazy not knowing where he was, not even mention the images on her head that supposed he could be dead by now. She thought nobody was aware of it but it appears she was wrong, wouldn't be the first time would it? She was wrong a lot lately.

'Not one.' She said so quietly David had to read her lips.

'Emma, I can't see you like this what do I do?' David asked, his voice taking a parental protection tone that Emma hadn't heard before.

'Like what?' She responded trying to distract herself with some papers, she didn't want David to look at her eyes when she lied one more time. 'I'm fine, perfectly fine. Everything's good, I'm just a little concerned about Henry and…' Her words dissipated in her moth before finishing.

'Emma,' David was already hugging her. 'I don't like him, I never did; but if you feel like this when he isn't here then I can handle having him around.' Emma separated from him.

'What? No, is not like that!' It was hard enough to prove to herself she didn't feel a thing for Hook but now that she had to prove it to her own father well, it was increasingly worse.

The sound of someone entering the sheriff department cut out the conversation. Regina's high hills announced her entrance. She gave them both a disgust look but hid it a second later after showing it.

'Glad you're back Emma,' Her superiority tone taking over her words. 'Henry is thrilled about it.'

'Is good to be back' Emma answered back, knowing his son had been visited by Regina once or twice that week. 'Is anything I can help you with?'

'Actually, I have an interesting case for you.' Emma's brow furrowed with surprise thinking what was Regina talking about. 'I have found a peculiar, let's say character, wondering in the local pub. The owner said is disturbing the other clients.'

'I'll be right there.' Emma took her jacket and the car keys. This was good to keep her mind distracted after all.

'There's one more thing,' Regina stopped Emma. 'he keeps saying: Cora is here.' Emma's mouth opened and her eyes looked at her wide open.

'That's impossible, there's no way she could have come to Storybrooke.' David said 'Emma and Snow used the only possible way to come back.'

'They didn't come alone, did they?' Regina smiled sarcastically before leaving them.

'What was that?' Emma asked but she answered herself, Regina knew about Hook.

'Oi man! Bring me another one!' Emma heard his voice the moment she entered the pub, David behind her. They looked at each other recognizing the voice immediately; this wasn't exactly going to distract Emma then. 'Didn't you hear me? I said another one!' The bartender, a chubby old man rolled up his eyes serving the pirate another drink.

'No more drinks for you, Hook' Emma was now next to him giving the bartender the drink back.

'Look who's here!' Emma did a mayor effort to understand what he was saying, his tongue paralyzed with all the alcohol. 'I've missed you love.' His hook snagged on her jeans pocket bringing her closer to him.

'My god Killian, you stink.' Emma retained some air before talking again. 'Come on, let's go.' He looked so vulnerable and at the same time as if he had no worries at all.

'No!' He protested. 'No, no, no. I'm staying, where's my drink?' He shouted, falling from the chair. Emma sighed heavily and took him from one arm while David took him from the other one. He seemed unconscious when they started taking him out of the local, Emma's brow furrowed with concern but as soon as she thought about it he started talking nonsense asleep. 'Cora's here, leave me. Cora's here.' They got him in the backseat.

'Wait! Who's going to pay me?' The chubby man was out looking at Emma.

'He will, don't worry.' She winked at him and got in the car.

Hook had never drunk so much in his life, not even when he had lost Milah. Four days in a row. And now he was paying the consequences, his head was about to explode and he had vomited three time since he had woke up in Emma's bed.

He looked at Emma asleep in front of him sit on a chair next to the bed. He hadn't waked her up, not even when he had to run to throw up the first time. She looked so peaceful; his heart could have explode of how much it wanted her right now, to brush his lips against hers, to touch her skin, to smell her aroma once more.

'Stop looking at me Hook' She suddenly said, eyes still closed. He did a face trying to hide a smile but it was inevitable.

'I thought we had already discussed this, but it seems my look still bothers you.' He teased. Her eyes were open now looking back at him. 'How did you find me?' He asked serious.

'Client complains.' She smiled.

'Emma' He whispered suddenly remembering everything that had happened the last time he saw her. He sat on the bed, the headache in his head so strong he might have teared up a bit. 'Oh Emma, I didn't mean what anything of what I said in the woods.' Emma gulped surprised by the change of tone in his voice; she had never heard him so serious.

'I'm fine Hook, I'm stronger than to take that seriously.' She lied. She had taken it really serious, because he hadn't been lying she was afraid of getting hurt. She was weak.

'I know that' His voice less intense. His expression flinched because the pain in his head.

'You should take a shower now, you still stink.' Emma got up leaving the room to prepare the bathroom.

His hair was all wet now, but he had to admit after that shower he felt considerable better. He looked himself in the mirror. He looked emaciated; all those thoughts that tormented him plus the alcohol had really made him a disaster. He passed his right hand through his hair, a sigh left his mouth, he was tired not physically but mentally tired; the nine days away from Emma had been a rack. The first five days he had been in the woods trying to find a way of avoiding his obligations, specially the one in which he had to kill Emma, the thought had been so strong and had tortured him so much that the sixth day he had no choice but to stop thinking about them… With alcohol.

His right hand was posed on the sink when he felt it. His head was spinning, a word all over his mind:_ Hurry._ He recognized Cora's voice instantly. His hand like a claw feeling his skin opening; scarlet liquid falling from the back of his hand to the sink. Just like it started, it stopped; as quickly as that. He looked his hand and the marks of the cuts saying _Be Cautious_ were now covered by new cuts saying _Hurry_. He cleaned his hand softly, the cold water making the pain less severe but it still hurt.

'Damn it, Cora!' He cursed.

'Is everything okay?' Emma's voice came through the door.

'Fine! Just fine.' He answered. 'Going out in a minute.' He took off the towel and put on some shorts Emma had taken from David's clothes, she hadn't found any t shirts so he would have to conform with that.

He opened the door but Emma wasn't there anymore. He entered her room where she found her sat again on the chair with a blanket, her eyes closed.

'What time is it?' He asked. She turned around retaining her breath; she could see his naked torso with some left water drops running across it. He had this tattoo on his shoulder but she couldn't determinate what was it. 'Are you okay Emma?'

'I-it's 3 in the morning.' The words stumbling in her mouth. 'You should sleep now.' She had to oblige herself to stop looking at him. He came closer to her, taking the blanket and putting it aside. His hand was now on her shoulder, touching her skin thanks to the tank top she was wearing.

'Sleep in the bed; I'll sleep on the chair.' He tried to be gentle, but Emma drawn away from him. 'Come on Emma, I'm not going to hurt you.' He said exasperated, it actually hurt the way she pushed him away every time he tried to get closer, it annoyed him so much.

'I can sleep on the chair thank you' She snapped. He clenched his jaw and passed his hand through his hair trying to recover some patience.

'Why are you so fucking afraid Emma!' Her eyes looked at him with fear; he covered his face with his hand and breathed deeply. 'I'm sorry, I don't – I didn't…' He sat on the bed, he could feel the heat in his face. He looked to the ground not knowing what to do anymore; she annoyed the hell out of him –he knew he did the same to her- and he hated how she didn't trust anybody, he hated how she made him feel guilty and full of hope at the same time, he hated how much she hurt him when she pushed him away like if she felt aberration towards him and he hated how she made all that hate disappear with just one glance from her. 'I want you Emma Swan.'

She sat next to him, her eyes on him the whole time. She wanted to trust him, she wanted to stop feeling so miserable but she knew she couldn't let herself fell for it, she had already got used to be lonely what would happen when that changed, when having him around was normal and suddenly one day he weren't there anymore?

'You will leave me Killian.' She whispered, he faced her shaking his head. 'You will, are you really willing to leave your home for me? Or maybe even not having your revenge for me?' The last sentence felt like a stab in his gut. His eyes were full of hurt. He had picked his revenge over her once and it had killed him inside, he wasn't committing that mistake twice. He would find a way to stop Cora and to have his revenge without hurting Emma.

_All for you, love. _The voice in his head said.

'I would, Emma.' He kissed the back of her shoulder. 'I would.' He repeated, kissing her back over and over again in a different place every time. She had a nostalgic smile on her face, her back burning every time his lips met her skin.

'Killian, I do know when someone is lying.' Her voice was weak, almost broken. He stopped kissing her back, his hand turning her head to face him. His knuckles caressing her cheeks. His lips pressed against hers, it was soft and gentle he touched her carefully like she was made of porcelain. When he realized she kissed him back without opposition the kiss became more needy and passionate. Surprisingly he was the one who stopped it.

'I need you to trust me.' His hand massaging the back of her neck. 'It is really important Emma.'

'How can I if you're not telling me the truth!' She cried.

'If I told you the truth then you wouldn't need to trust me would you?' He smiled. 'You just need to know one thing, you have to stop pushing me away because I'm not leaving you lass.'


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N: **I'm sorry! I know I haven't updated but I was going through a no-inspiration moment. Sorry. I have a new bunch of ideas now though, so I'll try to update later today.

As always I hope you enjoy it, tell me if you did or didn't like it please! xx

**Chapter 6**

**The Gambler**

_I don't care to beg your pardon_

_We should live until we die._

It didn't happen. Nothing happened to be exact. They just lay in bed looking through each other's eyes. Emma's head was above Hook's arm, her look was now peaceful comparing it to days before; somehow everything seemed right in that moment. Since she got back from the enchanted forest she had feared about this moment when she finally gave up battling her own feelings, and now everything felt right as if it was meant to happen.

They didn't sleep, they just talked. He told her about Neverland, she told him about being an orphan, he told her about the oceans he had navigated, she told him about her time in jail, he told her about Milah, she told him about Graham, he told her he wouldn't leave her, she believed him.

* * *

They had slept three hours maximum when he woke up, by her side. His face couldn't contain a smile, the knuckles of his right hand caressing her arm. A feeling, not the ones he was used to like the one of revenge or anger but another, took over his body; it was a mix of protectiveness, happiness and fullness. He silently laughed. He was beginning to be a fool for love and it was okay.

He knew she was too much for him, she was bittersweet, a real mystery, like no other girl he had meet, and he had known way to much girls; they had been only a distraction after Milah's death but Emma made him feel different, even complete.

'What are you thinking, Capt'n?' Her voice whispering in his ear, he could feel a smile in her mouth. He turned to face her and caught her lips with his, softly he bit her lower lip letting it go after a few seconds, he continued kissing her chin then her throat. His hand was on her waist, her tank top raised enough for him to touch her skin, which burned with the contact. Her arms were around his naked torso pressing his body towards hers. His lips against hers once more, needy and more aggressive. He pronounced her name quietly against her breath. His hook tracing small circles in her back with carefulness.

For one moment to another his body got tense, he stopped kissing her and backed away. He sat facing towards her with his hand burning of pain. A few groans leaving his mouth. Emma looked at his hand closer barely reading the word on it because the blood didn't let her.

'Hook?' She was terrified, and she hated it because she knew she should have done something, but she couldn't think.

'I'm fine, love.' He could see her panicking, so he did his best not to flinch but it seemed impossible; it was as if a razor traced the cuts over and over again, slowly and painfully. The blood didn't stop, it had already stained part of the blanket under his hand. The pain stopped but the scarlet liquid kept flowing from the back of his hand. He breathed taking every molecule of oxygen into his body. Emma took his hand again cleaning it and reading the word on it: _Hurry. _She still could see the marks of the first cuts.

'Hurry? What does that even mean?' She asked looking at Hook, trying to make sure he would tell her the truth.

'I… I don't know love.' Hook lied. 'I'm fine now, that's what matters, right?'

'If you're going to keep lying to me Hook…' Emma got up from the bed, took a sweater and touched the doorknob. 'I thought we had already advanced from that level.'

'All right Emma,' He spoke before she could open the door. 'The cuts appeared in the bathroom, after I showered.' He knew that wasn't all the truth but that would have to do. Emma turned around looking for any gesture that told her he was lying but she didn't found any. He got up and walked towards her, his hook snagged in her sweatpants pulling her to him. 'I don't want you to worry Emma.' He whispered into her ear, sucking her lobule. She closed her eyes, how could he do all those wonderful things? She wouldn't be able to argue with him ever.

'Hook' Her voice was like a beg, but Killian wasn't sure if she asked for more or if she wanted him to stop. 'I need to go to work.'

'Mmmh.' He ignored her and kept kissing her. Someone knocked the door making both, Emma and Killian come back to reality. She pushed him away before anyone entered the room. Mary Margaret's head popped with a smile until she looked Killian, without a t shirt.

'I thought you would be still in bed, after all that alcohol.' She was now in the room.

'Yeah, well Emma gave me something that really made me feel better.' He winked at Snow White, whose eyes were wide open as well as her mouth.

'Pills!' Emma said quickly. 'I gave him pills! What's wrong with you two! ' In part it was true, she had gave him some pills for the hangover.

'Right, there's someone who wants to see you Emma.' Mary Margaret smiled to her. Emma's brow furrowed.

'I'll be there in a minute.' As soon as Mary Margaret closed the door Emma punched Hook in the arm. 'What's wrong with you?' Killian made an _ouch_ expression although he couldn't help but laugh.

'Just wanted to freak out the mother in law a bit.' He kept laughing.

'She's not your mother in law, now change you're coming with me to the station.' Hook's right brow arched.

'Can't stand being without me, huh?'

'Oh shut up, you need to find a way to get money to pay all the freaking booze you drunk and to buy some proper clothes for you.'

'What's wrong with my clothes?' He asked pretending to be insulted.

* * *

'No need to take my hand Killian!' Emma's voice went through the hall.

'Oh but love, I know you like it' Killian replied laughing.

'I don't, now let me go before…' She shut up realizing they had gotten to the living room. Mary Margaret sitting next to Henry looked at them with a weird look, not knowing if she should smile or not. Henry on the other hand smiled evidently knowing what was going on. Emma realized there was a third person who wasn't David, she looked at him horrified. 'What the hell are you doing in my house?' Her voice full of anger screaming at the stranger. Hook took her by the arm trying to calm her down. 'Get out Neal! Just get out!' She had never lost control this way, but she couldn't help it. All the anger and frustration she had kept inside her now was beginning to leave her body.

'Emma…' Neal tried to get near her.

'Stay away, you coward!' She wanted to scream and cry and hit him, all at the same time. 'You're a coward and a liar, Neal; so don't you ever get near me.'

'I think Emma has made her point clear.' Killian said, his eyes looking at Neal severely. 'I guess you know the way out sir.' Neal sighed, and gave a few steps before facing Emma.

'I'm sorry Em, you don't know how much.' He continued his way out. Mary Margaret was as confused as Henry. Emma sat in the couch with her hands covering her face. Hook looked at her with concern; no one knew what to say. Perhaps the best was to leave her alone. Mary Margaret gave her a kiss on the forehead and went to the kitchen with Henry.

'I'll go take fresh air.' Killian said from nowhere. Emma looked at him distrustful. 'I'll come back I promise, I just want you to be okay.' He nodded at her as to assure everything was going to be fine.

'What if Mr. Gold sees you?' She asked.

'He won't love, I'm not going far.' He smiled at her with confidence and left the flat.

* * *

He looked from one side to another cautiously, checking if someone had followed. Clear. He introduced himself into the woods with the smaller of the smirks in his face. He stopped in the exact same place where he and Cora had talked the first time.

'Whenever you want.' He said to the air.

'I thought I said I wanted her quickly.' Cora said gently but her anger wasn't well hidden.

'She doesn't trust anyone who steps in her way love.' He smiled. 'But you know I might be the exception. You'll have her in a few days.'

'The exception that confirms the rule, wonderful.' Her anger long gone. 'I will need another favor' Hook couldn't believe it, he passed his hand through his hair and cursed.

'What else do you want Cora? I've done everything you have asked!' He snapped. 'And you have clearly not done your part.'

'Oh darling, it's a little favor. After that I promise you will have Rumpelstiltskin.'

'What is it then?' Hook asked, his nose wrinkled and his jaw tightened.

'The kid, I need him.' She smiled at Hook's expression, which was now of surprise. 'I want him alive, a little gift for my Regina. You know, to start all over again.'


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N: **Hello! I know I said I'd update yesterday but for me the end of the world almost happened because my wifi died so I couldn't update until now, happy not end of the world btw!

This chapter really broke my heart and I have still lots of feelings about it which will appear in the next chapter, I don't want to say when I'm going to update cause it seems every time I try something doesn't let me but I reckon it will be very soon.

On other news, I have been thinking about making this story with 20 chapters, and a _sequel _with other 20 chapters, tell me if you agree please? Or what you think about it? Would help me a lot.

I want to say thanks to Maiqu cause she's always the first to review and I have to say I love her reviews, also to BlackHeart, KahlanDarcy, naiariddle, beverlie4055, Tentacion Prohibida, Psychadelia Child and all the ones I'm missing THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

I'll finish soon I swear, so I wanted to thank you and wish you merry Christmas and celebrate I've got 51 followers (yay, thanks) so I draw this thingy, I hope you like it. I mean is nothing but you know a little gesture? I have no idea how to put a link here or even if you can so you'll have to go to my tumblr if you want to see it? it's fountain-coins and it's the drawing of Hook I really hope it isn't to horrible :S

Enjoy the chapter too! x

**Chapter 7**

**Boys don't cry**

_I would break down at your feet__  
__and beg forgiveness__  
__Plead with you__  
__but I know that it's too late__  
__and now there's nothing I can do_

She wasn't even going to answer that call, she had decided seconds ago she would let the phone rang but it didn't stop. It took a lot of time to decide it was the best to answer. It could be Mary Margaret, she had asked her to call the moment Hook appeared at the apartment after all.

The station was filled with the ring of the phone again, Emma didn't wanted to talk to anyone she had gone to work to be alone and think but it was obviously impossible to not have contact with anyone, in the end she was the sheriff. She looked at the phone for another moment encouraging herself to answer.

'Sheriff Department, what can I do for you?' She said it automatically, almost wishing the person calling had dialed wrong the phone number.

'Emma, dearie' She recognized the voice immediately and in a split second she knew something was wrong. 'I'm really sorry to bother you, you must be so busy but I think I have something that belongs to you and I was wondering if you could come to the pawnshop to you know, pick it up.' Emma detected in his voice an extreme calm that made her even more anxious.

'I'm sorry Mr. Gold but I doubt you have something of mine' Emma answered hiding her nervousness. 'Perhaps you are mistaken.'

'Oh no, I'm pretty sure is yours. I'll be waiting sheriff.' He hung up and Emma dropped the phone on the table. What did he mean with that call? She realized Mary Margaret hadn't called her. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. She felt everything falling apart, herself shattering. A tear falling from her eye to her pink cheek and disappearing with a stroke of the back of her hand.

She had no time to cry, she needed to do something; this wasn't her, she was a fighter. He had promised her to never leave her and she had promised to trust him; but right now the rolls seemed to change, and she wasn't going to fail him.

She took the car keys and got into the yellow bug, but as soon as she started it someone knocked on the window. She recognized the jacket as soon as she saw it, the window went down and he popped his head into the car.

'Not now Neal,' She started to reverse when the copilot seat's door opened and Neal entered. 'Are you fucking deaf? I said not now!'

'I'm not leaving until you listen what I have to say' He said, Emma had already started to drive like mad. 'Goddamn Emma, calm down.' He tried to grab whatever he could not to be expelled from the car. They made to Mr. Gold's shop safe and sound.

* * *

'She has nothing to do with this, beast!' Hook shouted for the third time.

'May be you're right' Gold smiled, watching Hook suffer was so much fun for him. 'But don't you think she deserves to know her lover would give Cora her life just to have his revenge on me?' Killian scowled, if only he had been more cautious after finishing his business with Cora he wouldn't be in the crocodile's hands now. It was his entire fault and everything was going to be a mess. And Emma… He had failed her. Rumpelstiltskin guessed his thoughts. 'Oh poor Captain Jones; two ladies you have really loved in your life and you manage to lose them both.' Gold's smile sharpener.

'You seem to know perfectly well how is it to lose a woman, don't you?' Hook spat back. Rumpelstiltskin's face deformed into a grimace of hate but he never lost his composure.

'But no one like you, Hook' Mr. Gold had emphasized the last word knowing how much it would mean to Killian to be called like that by the man who was behind that nickname. He was right, Hook's anger started to grow but the sound of a bell distracted him. 'It seems Miss Swan arrived earlier than expected.' Gold gave him a last smile to Killian before leaving him to attend her client.

'Where is he?' Emma asked as soon as Gold appeared in her sight.

'Hello to you too Emma.' The man saluted. 'So, I see you realized I did have something of yours here?' Neal was next to Emma looking from her to Gold depending who was talking.

'What do you want for him?' Emma was losing her patience.

'Dearie, it offends me you think like that,' Gold was having much more fun than he thought. ' maybe in another circumstances I would have asked you for something but right now, I just want to help you Emma.' Emma didn't answer right away; she didn't understand what he really wanted.

'What… what do you mean?' Was all she managed to say.

'This last days I have felt the presence of magic I hadn't felt since we left the enchanted forest, at the beginning I thought it was thanks to the portal you opened but it became… stronger.' Gold gave Emma a moment to receive all his words. 'After a while I recognized it was Cora.'

Emma's thoughts went to the pub where she had found Hook. _Cora's here,_ she repeated in her head. She hadn't believed him, she thought it was nonsense.

'Regina came to me when she found the pirate saying over and over again Cora was here. Well he wasn't lying. Regina telling you where he was, well it was part of the plan. Cora wouldn't contact him if she knew he was trapped here would she?' Emma started to understand everything, yet she denied his words. She trusted Killian. Gold knew Emma didn't believe him still. 'Emma, who do you think made those cuts in his hand? The tooth fairy? It was Cora, that's how she called him. This morning when he left your flat…' Emma interrupted him.

'You had been watching our flat all this time?'

'No dearie,' He answered almost laughing at her occurrence. 'Regina went to visit Henry and she found out he wasn't there or with you. He was with Cora.'

'Stop lying already' Emma was so confused she reckoned her head would explode at any second.

'I'd love to say I'm lying but that's not the worst part…' Emma didn't say a thing so he continued. 'He was willing to give Cora your life and Henry so he could have his revenge on me.' Emma immediately reacted against Gold but Neal took her from both arms stopping her, she kicked and punched but Neal was too strong.

'Liar!' She shouted over and over again.

'Why don't you see it by yourself…' Gold showed her the way; Emma stopped moving and followed him. Emma yelped when she saw the state he was in, he had cuts all over his face, a purple eye and the lower lip was swollen. He didn't look at her, he just couldn't. Knowing everything the crocodile had told her a moment ago was true felt like a stab in his stomach.

'Hook?' She knelt beside him. 'Hook, look at me. Tell him he's lying.' She begged with her broken voice. 'Please, Killian look at me and tell me he's lying.' He couldn't hear this anymore, her voice, her tears falling in his arm, it was worse than death. He lifted his head to face her, she had seen him vulnerable many times but right now was extreme, as if at any moment now he would give his last breath.

'It's true Emma. Everything he told you is true.' His voice was only a whisper. She backed away terrified of his words. 'Emma please…'

'Don't!' She tried to be strong, as if it didn't matter but why even bothering anymore. 'I trusted you! You told me, you told me and I- I can't,' More tears left her eyes falling to the ground. 'You, son of a bitch! I hate you!' Hook felt a thousand of razors opening the skin of his body every time she yelled at him saying she hated him, he had never felt so shit in his life.

'I was trying to protect you, Emma' His eyes begged her to stop. He couldn't get another insult from her or he would break.

'Don't you dare talk to me,' she had her gun out now, Neal and Gold backed away from her while she pointed it at Hook, he almost wishing for her to do it. But she didn't. She couldn't. 'I fucking trusted you' her voice was silent and sinister, her hand leaving the gun in her belt again. He felt his spine tremble; he would have preferred the angry Emma than the hurt Emma, because somehow it lacerated him even more.

'Emma, please I need you to keep trusting me' He cried. 'Right now is really important, I know Cora! I can help you. Believe me when I say I was trying to protect you, because' He knew this wasn't the moment but he needed her to listen to him. 'I love you Emma Swan. And I would do anything for you even if it meant to deceive Cora.' He thought seeing in her eyes a spark of faith, but perhaps he was wrong.

'Do whatever you have to do with him Mr. Gold.' She turned around and left the shop.


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N:** Hello! Merry Christmas, _better now than ever _;) Hope you had a lovely day surrounded with your loved ones 3

I know I'm not updating as soon as I would want to but I hope this chapter makes it up, which is longer than the others. Also, I got lots of angry messages towards Emma haha it was lovely really! But I think this chapter will make it up.

Thanks for reading, your reviews and favorites and follows are what keep me going so thank you very much.

Enjoy x

**Chapter 8**

**Standing in the dark **

_Sitting here wide awake  
Thinking about when I last saw you  
I know you're not far away  
I close my eyes and I still see you_

She gave a step out of the shop and the tears stop falling and her face full of anger and deception disappeared, Emma hadn't assimilated the whole thing when Neal started to ask what the hell was going on. She sat on the ground laying her back on the wall of the shop and ignoring the insistent questions of the lad; her head organizing, like a machine, what she had to do. Henry was her priority, she had no idea what Cora wanted him for but she would never let her put a hand on her child. She needed to tell everyone about it, Storybrooke was in danger and it was her responsibility to protect the citizens.

Moments ago her whole world had broken into little pieces; her heart had been destroyed the way she had always feared, but she had no time to mourn her misfortunes, she had to act quickly. She looked for her cellphone in the pocket of her jeans but she couldn't find it, she must have left it in the station. Emma got up from the ground and opened the door of her car, she had already gotten in when she popped out her head to look at Neal, she couldn't just leave him there not the way _he had_ left her.

'Are you coming then?' She asked. Neal didn't think it twice and entered in the copilot seat. The journey to the station was silent, but as soon as they arrived Neal broke that quiet layer.

'Emma, I panicked.' Emma had no idea what he was talking about. 'The night we agreed to meet each other, I was followed and…' Emma rolled up her eyes, she couldn't stand more excuses.

'I don't have time for this.' She opened the door but he immediately took her hand and stopped her.

'Emma you don't get it, that night _your destiny_ was shown to me and when I saw it I panicked, at the time I convinced myself I was interfering with it but it was just another lie that covered my guiltiness.' Emma wasn't following him, for her everything he was saying was nonsense.

'Neal, I have important things to do, _my son_ is in danger. So if that's all you've got to say…' She left her words levitate while she got out of the car, not wanting to see his reaction to the mention of her son. She ran into the building and bumped into Mary Margaret. She was pale, honoring her name, Snow White; her pupils dilated looking at Emma with terror. 'What's wrong?' Emma asked, her heart pounding against her chest markedly.

'You didn't answer the phone nor your cellphone, and… I… I just… turned… and… Henry.' Mary Margaret wasn't making more sense than Neal a couple of minutes ago, it was driving Emma crazy.

'Where is Henry?!' Emma asked. Mary Margaret took a deep breath before answering.

'He's gone. He was with Regina…' Emma didn't let her finish.

'She took him' Emma concluded but Mary Margaret shook her head.

'No, she was talking with me in the kitchen telling me something about everybody wanting to go back to the Fairytale Land when Henry said he had spotted something from the window, he was waiting or Hook to come back,' Emma felt and intense pain in her chest but didn't say anything. 'He thought it was him, I didn't follow him Emma! I should've, I know I should've' Teardrops fell from her eyes. 'We hadn't realized he hadn't come back until later, I tried to call you but…' She didn't finish the sentence, Emma wasn't sure if it was because the cries didn't let her or not to make her feel guilty for not having her phone with her. 'David is looking for him, the whole town is trying to find him.'

'They won't find him' Emma whispered, lost in her thoughts not even looking directly at her mother.

'What? Why?' Snow White asked.

'Is Cora, Cora has him.' She tried not to suffocate into the million worries and thoughts that arrived to her head at that moment, it was like she kicked and punched to get out of there, to be able to breathe among all the fog that clouded her head.

'How is that even possible? I thought…' The voice of Neal cut Mary Margaret off.

'You… you have a son?' Emma turned to face him, was he freaking out of his mind? She had told him she was busy and still he appeared with his dumb questions. Neal hadn't even thought that the boy he had met at her apartment was her son, why would he? If he calculated, the boy would have been born when she was at jail which was impossible because she wasn't pregnant when he left her.

'Yes, his name is Henry and he needs me. Now, go away.' Emma was losing her patience. She needed to think, she needed a plan, but first she needed to know where Cora was. She let go a long breath. She turned around, now facing Mary Margaret. 'I know who can help us.'

* * *

Emma looked at the signboard, second time that day that she went to visit Mr. Gold, she hoped it didn't become a habit. She and Mary Margaret got off the car and entered the store, a memory of that same morning gripped her mind, she wasn't sure the pain would ever disappear or at least if it would become bearable.

Gold appeared a minute after they had entered. He had a strange look in his face, one of pleasure mixed with pain at the same time, it immediately changed after seeing who were his visitors.

'Miss Swan, always a pleasure to see you' He smiled.

'I need to talk with him.' She said firmly, Mary Margaret and Emma had already planned everything during the journey. They knew when Gold found out Henry was missing he would let her talk to him. Although Snow White knew something was wrong with Emma she hadn't insisted, she actually could figure it out and Hook was quiet guilty. Mr. Gold's face turned to a confused one, he didn't understand why, after that morning, Emma would want to talk to the man who had broken her heart.

'I believe that's impossible' He replied, and not willing to listen to another word he turned away. This was Emma's last chance to catch his attention.

'It's Henry!' She said quickly. 'He is missing, and I think you know where he is and with who.' Gold looked at her, trying to find anything that told him she wasn't telling the truth but her desperate voice convinced him. He waved his hand as to tell Emma the way, Hook wasn't in the same place he was that morning but in a little dark room, a cupboard; his arms tied up with a rope, sat on the ground. The three of them, Gold, Emma and Mary Margaret looked into the little room. Hook´s eyes narrowed at the sight of the light, he couldn't distinguish who was in front of him but he perceived her smell immediately.

'I'll talk to him in private.' Emma said. Gold was about to argue when she added she wouldn't take much time. Mary Margaret took Gold apart and told him what had happened when she lost Henry, as a distraction. Emma entered the cupboard and closed the door; as soon as all the light disappeared she kneeled in front of him and kissed him, one hand in the back of his neck and the other on her shoulder. At first he didn't move because of the surprise but then he pulled her lips closer biting her lower lip carefully, he was needy and didn't let her go. She was now on his lap, one knee to the left of his legs and the other to the right of his legs.

'I hate you.' She said silently against his neck. They had stopped kissing seconds ago; she had untied his arms and sat next to him. He took her in his arms, her head nesting in his neck. 'I hate you so much.' She repeated. 'And you're so stupid and a son of a bitch, and … and… and I can't believe you risked your life the way you did for me and Henry, you idiot! What if Cora found out and killed you,' Her left hand was a fist now, hitting his chest not so softly. 'then what, Killian? What would I have done! You know you should've told me, and you didn't and I… I love you Killian Jones' He could feel her tears touching his skin. He didn't understand a thing but his heart jumped when he heard her voice saying she loved him.

'I thought you really believed I was on Cora's side Emma.' He said softly against her ear, his tone different from any other tone Emma had heard. It was nostalgic but happy. 'I wanted to die.' Her head pressed harder against his clavicle and her left hand clung to his shirt.

'Don't even say it.' She begged.

'For the queen fairy's sake Emma,' He kissed her forehead 'I really considered this was my last day.' Emma noticed his voice was happier now.

'Don't you ever put attention to what I say? I know how to detect a lie.' She said calmer now that he didn't sound so bad, his appearance was a totally different subject; his eye was still purple but now it had green and yellow too, his cheekbone was opened and with dry blood, he had been punched everywhere, she even notice he couldn't breathe normally.

'Your lips are guilty of that.' She had stopped hiding her head in his neck and looked at him worried. He tried to smile but he was just too hurt to even move, she didn't know how on earth he had kissed her back after all that bruises and punches in his face, it must have taken all his efforts not to shout of pain.

She remembered the plan, she had lost enough time. Right now even the seconds counted. Mary Margaret didn't know all of it after all, she had just told her half of it; Mary Margaret part was to distract Gold enough so Emma could accomplish her part, which was get Hook to tell her where Cora could be. She hinted to Snow that Hook had betrayed her and that she was heartbroken because she knew Gold could get to suspect her plans.

'I can't get you out of here Hook' she said almost wanting to fuck up everything and take him with her. His face lost all the hopes it had gained the last couple of minutes. 'Cora has Henry, I need Gold by my side, he is powerful; and if I get you out of here he won't help me Killian.' Her voice sounded as if she was full of shame.

'Hey, I understand love.' He took her chin with her hand and look into her eyes. She underestimated herself, he knew it and all he wanted right now was for her to realize how much more powerful she was than Rumpelstiltskin. He hadn't even offered to help her because he knew she was stronger, she would do it all by herself. 'I got myself into it; I can get out by myself.' He made a fail attempt of wink because of the pain and it made Emma laugh a bit.

'I'll do everything for Golden not to hurt you more, I promise.' She said.

'I don't know if you can be that persuasive' He answered concerned, which made Emma's body tense. 'I don't think your beautiful lips will work on him the way they work on me.' Emma calmed down and let a small smile show.

'Shut up! We have no time, do you know where Cora is?' She asked her voice serious now.

'She never told me where was she really but we saw each other in the forest, forty or fifty meters away from where you found me the first time, remember? With the wolf girl.' Emma nodded. 'This is important Emma; she wanted Henry as a gift for Regina I don't know how that would work but still… Don't worry much, he's safe. She won't hurt him.' Emma nodded again, this time more shyly.

'Thank you Killian' She smiled and pressed her lips against his. She tied him up again but loose, letting him untied himself at any moment. She had already put her hand on the doorknob when he stopped her by saying her name.

'Emma?'

'Yes?' She answered.

'Take care okay?

'Yeah, you too pirate.'

'Emma?' He asked again, she figured him like a little boy.

'Yeah?'

'You don't really hate me right?' He asked vulnerable. She turned around to look at him, her eyes already used to the dark.

'Killian I love you, and somehow that means I hate you' She smiled. 'And yet I'm willing to live my whole life with you. No matter how much mistakes you do.' She gave him another quick kiss and left him in the dark.

* * *

'Well then,' Gold turned to face her. 'has he told you what you needed?' Emma nodded.

'But I need another favor Mr. Gold' Emma knew this wasn't enough for the man to concede what she wanted so she added: 'for Henry.'

'What is it?' Gold asked reluctantly.

'The pirate won't answer any other questions unless he stops being your punching bag.' Gold looked exasperated; Emma even feared he had realized her intentions but his nod made her breathe normally again. 'Thank you Mr. Gold, I won't forget it.'

'I just do it for Henry. But don't, make sure you don't.' Emma let a fake smile show and along with Mary Margaret they left the shop. Her mother looked at Emma impatient to know what she had gotten but her daughter didn't say anything until they were in the car.

'So?' Snow asked intrigued and desperate.

'I know where she might be.' Emma answered.

'What took you so long anyway? Well, it doesn't surprise me he isn't really serviceable.'

'No, he actually answered me the moment I asked him.' Emma said quiet embarrassed for making Mary Margaret's part more difficult. She explained everything to her, Snow surprised for what she was hearing.

'So if you knew he wasn't lying, that he was just trying to fool Cora why you left him like that?!'

'At the beginning I really thought he was lying, the fact that he had admitted everything blinded me for a moment. Then I understood everything, but what could I do? Gold wasn't going to let me take him with me just like that so I pretended I was heartbroken. Given the circumstances is better to have Gold with us rather than against us.' She finished explaining. Snow was shocked by how quickly her daughter sorted out problem after problem. Emma pulled over the car and parked it. David and Regina appeared from nowhere, the first one hugging his girls.

'There's no track of him' Regina said. 'we have been looking for hours.'

'I don't understand it.' David looked so tired, but not just physically. Emma felt anger against Regina, she tried to dissimulate it but the thought of her being the only blameworthy for her missing son didn't leave her head.

'Cora has him.' Explained Mary Margaret.

'She wants him as a gift for you' Emma nodded towards Regina, her blood boiling inside her. 'So please go tell your mummy my son isn't available, she can go to the souvenir shop maybe there she gets something you like!' Emma walked passed her hitting Regina's shoulder. 'Now, excuse me I'm gonna find my son.' And she introduced herself in the woods.


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**Never smile at a crocodile.**

_I've said it so many times_

_I would change my ways_

_No, never mind_

_God knows I've tried_

The dark of the room tormented Hook's head, non-stop. He had tried to plan his revenge once again but his thoughts leaded him in a completely different way. It had been many years since he had become a pirate, far more a lost boy from Neverland without parents. He had forgotten but it was all clear now, his right hand touched the cold floor as if it was trying to grasp to something, images in his head appeared from nowhere like quick flashes.

_-'Have you ever seen one, face to face?' Nibs had asked his voice as sharp as that of a child, doubting his leader had really seen a mermaid as close as he said._

'_Aye! Course I have.' He had answered, his chest sticking out with pride. He didn't delay to point out how great he was, -not that it had changed or anything-. He remembered thinking how grand was to be the eldest of the lost boys, and yet he would never grow up; how glorious was that? Always being the one that was admired by the little ones around him, doing whatever he wanted without someone telling him what was right or wrong.-_

The boy who wouldn't grow up.

And now, after all those years he _had_ grown up, doing things he swore he would never do, leaving Neverland and his little boys, always for one and only reason: _revenge. _Yes, he had always sought for it. Not just against Rumpelstiltskin, but many others. His hand became a fist; all those feelings that had disappeared with Emma's arrival had come back, he wasn't going to stay there, arms crossed waiting for his captor to let him go. He knew what he was risking, not seeing Emma again was one of them but God knew he needed to do it. It was everything he had become to know, it was what kept him alive and he couldn't let it go just like that. He was going to have what he had come for. He was aware he didn't have a plan, after all those years and he didn't have a plan. Did not matter though, he would get him regardless the way.

He scowled and untied the rope of his feet, he had enough practice to do it with his right hand and not a hook in his left – That Gold had taken it from him- after a few minutes he got up with an evident flinch. Another flash of images went through his head.

_-'Well then?' One of the twins had asked after Hook had gone to investigate this ship that had arrived to the Indian Camp._

'_Tell us, tell us!' The other twin had insisted. _

'_I will just tell you something, never smile at a crocodile!' He had laughed, giving a pirouette in the air flying back to the camp where the ship had anchored. Oh what an adventure that was, saving Tiger Lily. - _He shook off all those memories and gave a few steps before smirking.

'Aye, never smile at a crocodile.' He repeated to himself, the smirk deepening. He reached down slowly and took the gun he had taken from Emma, she would really piss off. He put it in his belt and gave a few more steps reaching the door. 'And Captain Hook never breaks a promise.' He whispered, the doorknob turned and the door opened. He felt ready for everything, he feared it was only an impulse but it didn't matter anymore, he was already in the crocodile's mouth.

'I do not know if I am offended by not being that overlooked, I'd have thought I'd need much more security guarding me.' He said surprised Rumpelstiltskin wasn't anywhere to be seen, he knew it couldn't be that easy; a spell maybe or fairy dust from a bad one or… He gave a few steps before bumping up against someone. The gun falling a few meters away from him, he had implied the beast was the one that blundered against him, so as soon as he recovered he ran after the gun holding it up high. His head tilted when he saw the lass in front of him, that wasn't what he expected he recognized her after a few seconds.

'After all those years.' Hook said, putting down the gun.

'Wha- What are you doing here?' Belle inquired.

'Well, I'm not here to kill you love, nor to rescue you that's for sure.' He wasn't very interested in her, she could notice that. 'So! Where is him, let me say he is indeed a coward if he sent you to get reed of me or whatever.' He wasn't steady, looking all around, graving things and putting them not in their place, throwing one or two.

'Excuse me?' Belle said confused, he was getting to her nerves.

'RUMPLESTILSKIN!' Hook shouted, he seemed out of his mind. 'Where the bloody hell is him?' He hadn't acted this way in years, but his patience was depleting. He didn't think straight anymore, his head was a big mess of present and past memories all of them making him more furious. Belle tried to look at him but it was impossible he didn't stop moving and his eyes gave her goose bumps, they looked full of anger and sadness. He looked physically ill, sweating and trembling, shiners under those ocean blue eyes and bruises all over his body.

'Please, let me help you.' Belle said with the calmest voice she could use.

'I don't need your help; I want that coward to face me.' He said sharp. 'Where is he,' The gun in his right arm lifted and pointed to Belle, she was trembling now too. 'don't you dare try hiding him because I'll find him not matter if that is the last thing I do, goddamn!' He could feel the cold sweat travel from her upper forehead to the tip of his nose. There was no way back.

'I'm already in the crocodile's mouth.' He reminded to himself.

'Sorry?' Belle asked backing away from him. 'I'll help you, everything is gonna be fine alright? Now, I'll get nearer you' She gave one step, looking he hadn't done anything she gave two more 'I will need the gun…' He didn't let him finish.

'Not a chance! Tell me where is he, now!' He shouted. Her eyes begged him to stop but he was too busy trying to shut up his own thoughts he didn't even realize. A move, a move from her head was what betrayed her. He looked into the direction she was looking at. 'He ain't here then.' A smile left his mouth. 'Well thank you very much love. You aren't as useless as I would have thought.' He winked at her and left.

Every step he gave confused him even more, memories he didn't even used to remember now were all over his head. He was starting to be Captain Hook again, the man who was feared, known in every port, in every sea and ocean; proliferating chaos everywhere. He felt powerful, nothing could stop him now.

* * *

Emma had been there for two or three hours already, her patience almost gone. Her eyes revealing her desperation, she needed her son back. She gave a few steps before the sound made her stop. She knew perfectly that sound, a bullet leaving a gun, one shot; then another.

She turned around in all directions, it was near. She lowered her hand making her jacket aside, trying to get her gun but it wasn't there. David's voice called her name but she couldn't hear the rest because it was interrupted by another shot. She ran into that direction where the sound came from.

The scene in front of her made her stop, Mr. Gold and Hook, face to face. She tried to look into Killian's eyes but it was useless, he looked bad even mad. Her spine felt a cold tremble; she had never seen him that way. And she feared him, she feared the man she thought she loved.

* * *

**A/N:** Hi guys! Hope you're having a good time. So what you think about this chapter? I hope you liked it; I really tried to show Hook's past and the problematic he has with it, I kind of wanted to show another Killian Jones, more like the one we are used to, _the bad pirate feared by everyone _you know, because I think in the end that's pretty much his essence and how Emma has to deal with it. I don't know, I hope you enjoyed it though. Tell me what you think!

xx


	11. Chapter 10

**A/N:** I know the title sounds ironic because the story is named _Leaving Neverland_ but I thought it was funny. I hope you like this chapter and the idea of it cause is like a plot twist I think so enjoy it!

Happy new year btw!

xx

**Chapter 9**

**Return to Neverland**

_Never say goodbye_

_Because saying goodbye means going away_

_And going away means forgetting_

Is weird how things work in the end. Emma knew that since she decided to stay in Storybrooke and now she found herself walking with the guy she used to think was the love of her life in a peculiar island. She turned around facing Neal, who stopped walking.

'We need to know where we are, we need to get food and a roof where to spend the night.' Emma blinked when she realized it was more difficult than it sounded. Neal lifted his arms in approval. 'And we need to find our way back to Storybrooke' She whispered to herself; after all, she didn't know how everything had ended back there.

She sighed while her mind wondered, it had been an abrupt ending of events and it made it crazy to even think everything had happened the same day. She had started her day in Storybrooke where she trusted she would finish it and yet she was in another realm; of that she was sure, where though.

The entire day flashed in her head, everything felt so far away now but she still remembered every detail, she stared at nowhere in particular reliving it all over again:

The woods broke in a dreadful silence; Emma still alarmed by the look in Hook's eyes didn't realize Belle had arrived. She was wrestling with Killian begging to let them go, Gold didn't even look anxious but on the contrary, ecstatic.

'Go away then!' Shouted Hook to Belle. 'Is not you who I want, anyway.'

A few tears left her eyes; she turned to look at Gold who moved his hand making Belle back away from Hook placing her next to him. Perhaps his magic wasn't good enough but something was something. The man had a funny look too; Belle recognized he looked more like Rumpelstiltskin than Mr. Gold. The hunger of power.

Emma shook her head trying to understand what was going on, and perhaps it was too obvious but her shock was still there and made her think slower. Emma tried to get nearer Killian; his head didn't even move to face her. She noticed he was fuming, out of control and all she wanted to do was for him to stop to look at her and assure everything was going to be okay. Emma took three steps before reaching his arm, his jaw tightened.

'Leave me, I'll kill him.' Emma wasn't sure if he did know she was the one taking his arm. 'All I want to do is kill him!' He cried.

'Oh Emma dear, let him do what he wants!' Gold laughed and Hook's throat ripped a growl; Gold moved his hand again and Emma hit the trunk of a bug pine. She felt dizzy and her back hurt, she tried to move unsuccessfully, it was as if an invisible rope tied her up. For the very first time Killian turned to face her, he was baffled and vulnerable but outraged and vengeful at the same time. Her eyes looked through his, the expression on his face getting softener and his arm with the gun was becoming doubtful.

'Killian' she whispered. 'Please, Killian.' The pirate looked at her with an uncertain expression now, but Gold's laugh resonated in his head and all the doubts were gone, he was going to make him suffer. 'No! Killian look at me, don't do this! Look at me.'

Rumpelstiltskin smiled, his fingers moving up and down pleased for what was happening. Belle, next to him, was trying to make him resonate but it was impossible. Hook looked at both of them and smiled, today his beast wasn't going to die but perhaps pretty Belle was. The idea was perfect, he would point at him but she would make the heroic act of saving him.

The gun pointed to the crocodile, Belle was still begging Mr. Gold to stop. Emma screamed but the bullet was already on its way, Rumpelstiltskin could have stopped the bullet but Belle had already pushed him away. She fell next to Gold, a bloodstain on her shoulder, her breathe was irregular and faltering. Rumpelstiltskin moved her head nearer his looking at her miserable, feeling guilty. He couldn't manage to lose her, not her! She was the only one that hadn't decided to leave him, she had believed in him and he had disappointed her.

'Everything is going to be okay' He cried, he felt the weakness take over his body as well as his power which helped Emma to move apart from the tree and running to Killian. He was kneeled on the floor, sweating. She kneeled in front of him cleaning his ace with her hand. Everything had changed, his eyes, his expression… He was himself again. She gave him a sweet kiss on the forehead and could feel his tears touching her skin.

Emma ran to Gold and Belle, the bullet had hurt part of his shoulder but it had only been a graze. Gold hadn't realized it, the guilt of his acts were fogging his right thinking believing she was in death danger.

'We need to take her to the hospital, she will be fine.' Said Emma putting a hand on his shoulder to comfort him, she had never seen him so intimidated and panicky and although she didn't like him she still hated the way he looked right now. Regina, David and Mary Margaret arrived seconds later asking non-stop what had happened, they had followed Emma´s track thinking something had happened to her.

'We need to take Belle to the hospital' Said Mary Margaret, making Emma smile a little for repeating what her daughter had said minutes ago.

'I'll take them both, Mr. Gold and Belle.' Offered David almost without wanting, leaving Mary Margaret and Emma wasn't really what he wanted. David and Gold took Belle carefully but she still groaned in pain. They walked slower not wanting to hurt her even more, David saw Mary Margaret one last time before leaving for the car.

Emma was already with Hook, he had hugged her the moment she was close enough to do so, she hugged him back feeling still a bit unsure about him.

'I'm sorry Emma' He said breathless. 'I wa- I was, bloody hell, I had so much pain and anger and I just' Emma stopped him.

'It is okay now Killian, it wasn't that bad.' It had been horrible but she couldn't tell her he looked even maniac. 'Now, we need to find Henry.'

A laugh made the four of them turn around, and there she was, after all those hours of trying to find her there she was. Regina's fear was evident, her lips were a thin line and her eyes were intense; looking at her mother after all those years made her feel dizzy. Cora smiled at her, as she always did, a smile you couldn't tell if it was of happiness or cruel.

'Mom!' Henry's voice resonated behind the villain.

'Henry! Are you okay?' Emma panicked running towards Cora but something stopped her. 'Henry?'

'Oh sweetie, he is having a great time with her grandmother aren't you Henry?' Henry didn't answer but his head popped from behind her dress.

'Shut up and give me my son back' Emma spat.

'Oh dear, that's not worthy of the queen's daughter' Cora laughed again. Regina had to close her eyes at Cora's words.

Hook had taken Emma's hand and squeezed it trying to give her strength somehow. He didn't feel fine but he had to be there for Emma the way she had been there for him. And he couldn't help but feel guilty, great part of this mess was his fault.

'Funny how tiny this realm is.' Cora smiled gently. 'I actually found the boy's father looking for the little princess.' Her smile turned cruel, her hand waved softly and Neal appeared from behind her. It seemed he was tied up with the same invisible rope Emma had been tied up with.

'Who, on all the bloody oceans is he?' Hook asked confused and jealous. Emma turned to face him shaking her head to shut him up. 'Right, not a good time. Sorry.' Emma felt a little weigh leave her shoulders, at least Hook was coming back to normal.

Cora lifted her hand again and waved it, three men with armors appeared behind the four, Emma and the other three gave a step to the front. Mary Margaret didn't understand how Cora was using all this power; Gold had magic, true, but it wasn't as powerful as it used to be. This was supposed to be a realm without magic, but Cora was as powerful as always. There had to be a way to reduce her power.

One of the knight took Emma from behind, Hook punched it but as soon as his hand touched the helmet it fall showing no one was inside of the armor. She struggled but it was useless the knight was stronger than her even without a head. Another knight took Mary Margaret and another took Hook. They tried to get out but it seemed impossible, somehow Neal had moved beside them struggling too.

This kind of tornado appeared, it was gray and green, and Emma knew it was a portal. She wasn't coming back! She couldn't, her son was in danger and she wasn't leaving him.

'How?' Regina asked 'I thought the portals were…'

'Oh sweetheart, unlike you as soon as I arrive here I tried to be useful I looked everywhere and I found a way darling. Now, I'm getting rid of our problems. Her hand waved again and Neal was the first in entering the portal. Emma was next, she tried to grapple but she ended up going through it.

* * *

Regina ran to Cora fighting against her, her hand on Cora's neck gave enough time for the portal to shut.

'No, no, no!' Hook cried. 'Please don't!

Cora wasn't weak and pushed Regina away. She opened the portal again, making the other three feel astonished. Perhaps Mary Margaret was wrong; her magic was stronger than she thought. Hook didn't struggle anymore when the knight throw him through the portal all he needed was to save Emma and bring her back home. Snow would have done the same except someone stopped the knight; she was surprised by _who_ had stopped it. Regina was trying to save her, she kicked the knight but it was impossible. It made her fall into the portal, she grabbed a root trying to get out but it was impossible the portal was stronger.

'Save my kid, Mary Margaret. Just save him' She said closing her eyes. She disappeared along with the portal.

Hook was still trying to recover his breath when he felt something fell on him, his lungs out of breath. He looked at Regina on him, and moved her gently she was still unconscious. He got up and looked around. He knew where they were, and it wasn't good. He had been her many years ago and almost didn't leave alive. His eyes kept looking for Emma but she wasn't there.

_She must have started to roam. _He thought. A moan made him come back to reality, looking down Regina had waked up. She was sat now rubbing her head.

'Where are we?' Regina asked confused. Hook sighed, his hands on his waist still looking around.

'In the land of Oz, in the Quadling Country I presume.' He looked at her. 'I can't find Emma.'

'It wasn't the same portal, where we came was violet and gray, her portal was green and gray. They must be in another realm.' Regina seemed indifferent about it, but Hook's heard pounded against his chest a thousand times quicker.

* * *

'So when were you planning to tell me your son is _my_ son too?' Neal asked pissed off. Emma didn't answer. 'Where are we anyway?' Emma didn't answer either. 'Are you never talking to me?'

Emma suddenly stopped to look around, she recognized the place immediately. She had looked it at Henry's book when she had investigated Hook. She sighed with fear and her heart beat faster.

'We're in Neverland.' Her voice broke.

* * *

**A/N:** Hello again! I would love to know your thoughts about it, mostly because it was a difficult chapter and the decision of separating Emma and Hook was hard and having them with people they hate and everything. I hope you liked it though! xx


	12. Chapter 11

**A/N: **I'm so sorry, I know I should have updated years ago but my life is a mess right now and I couldn't do it until now, I'm really sorry. I hope you like it though, and enjoy it because I really did while writing it.

I love the two 'new' characters and I really want to know what you think about them so tell me please!

Thanks for reading and waiting! xx

**Chapter Eleven**

**Killian Jones or Peter Pan?**

_And when she surfaces from her dream_

_She calls me by my old name_

_Though no one uses it anymore._

Her breathe was almost imperceptible, you wouldn't tell to look at her that she was real. Her olive skin appeared to be perfect, and her black and long messy hair fell like a cascade into two well-done braids. You couldn't tell she had lived long enough to know what love is, but one hundred years were enough to even learn how to live with your heart still in pieces day by day. Yes, one hundred years and yet her cheeks blushed like the sixteen year old girl she was.

She was sitting in the usual three as every morning, her eyes wide shut listening to everything that surrounded her. The music filled her ears but she didn't smile the way she used to years ago, since he was gone her heart couldn't listen to the music anymore. It was empty. She had never really let him go, her pride was greater for her to say goodbye after fighting, her pride was greater to even show a little that she cared about him leaving, but she did; he was present in her everyday life even though she didn't want to accept such thing.

She was the princess still, and her duties weren't going to go anywhere. She had delayed his father wishes enough; he was not going to let her scare fiancée after fiancée anymore, nor escape like the last time. This time she was going to marry Chief's son of the Mollusk tribe and there was nothing to do about it.

She perceived a flapping in the distance, she opened her right eye looking the tiny shine coming towards her and an even tinier smile left her lips. The flapping was nearer now, she could feel it next to her; the wings of the creature stroking her cheeks. She tried to hid a smile unsuccessfully, her eyes still closed.

'What a pleasure to know you haven't forgotten me, I was starting to worry.' Her voice tone was sweet and deep. The little shine stepped on her nose making the native girl open her eyes and wrinkle her nose.

'Well, if you hadn't accepted that idiot as your fiancée perhaps your father wouldn't have asked the fairies to collect such amount of fairy dust for the wedding and I wouldn't be working all day.' Said the fairy angrily, her hands in her hips while she scowled. The girl couldn't help but laugh at her lazy friend.

'I just thought some work would do you some good.' She replied. The fairy's expression softened and flying to a limb in front of the sixteen year old girl, she sat.

'You have been waiting for him for many years Tiger Lily' Tiger Lily frowned and looked away but the fairy kept talking. 'Why giving up now?' Tiger Lily looked at her tiny eyes again, biting her lower lip.

'We both know he is not the same boy we found in the mermaid lagoon. He left Neverland, Tink, he is an adult now. Waiting for him is like waiting for someone to come back from death.'

'But he promised to…' Tinker bell couldn't finish.

'His promise was broken long ago, we knew that the moment he put a foot out of Neverland.' Angry, hot tears were living Tiger Lily's eyes. Tinker Bell felt horrible for even starting the conversation with that topic, the guilt increased knowing she had kept for herself that Peter had come back some time ago and yet, left again.

He had beard now, his hand was cut and his eyes were far from innocent. Her heart had broken when she recognised him, he didn't want to talk to her and when she got him to talk, he just said three words: _How is she? _Tinker Bell hadn't felt so jealous in many years, he just wanted to know how Tiger Lily was. She was furious but then she realised he didn't love Tiger Lily anymore, not the way he used to anyway. There was another, and just by looking at him she knew he had lost her and by the way he acted days later, destroying everything in his path as if Neverland didn't mean anything to him she knew he wouldn't be able to get her back, ever.

At the end she had decided telling Tiger Lily would only make her feel even worse and what was the point? The man she had seen wasn't Peter anymore. Tiger Lily was right, it was like waiting for someone to come back from death.

'You're right Lil, he won't come back' Tinker Bell tried to amend the mistake of making her tearing. 'And I'm really happy for you, you'll look lovely in your wedding.' Both smiled at each other. 'Have you…' Tinker Bell was interrupted again but this time by another voice, one she had never heard in Neverland before.

'Shut up Neal, we haven't been here before.' That was definitely a girl.

'I'm telling you this is where we started.' And that was definitely a boy.

Tinker Bell and Tiger Lily looked down and two human beings appeared just under that three. The lass was blonde and beautiful, she was about twentyish perhaps twenty eight; the lad was older and kind of attractive.

'You know what Emma?' continued the man. ' We didn't start here.'

'Well at least now you admit your errors.'

'Yes, because we were here about ten minutes ago. We're walking in circles!'

'No you are not.' Tiger Lily answered before the one named Emma could. Tinker Bell looked at Tiger Lily with eyes wide open, she couldn't believe what she was doing.

'What are you doing!' She whispered. Tiger Lily smiled to her.

'They are unarmed and they don't even know where they are, how bad could it be to help them?' She smiled once more and jumped from the limp to the ground falling perfectly stood on her feet.

'What the hell?' Emma said lifting her fists as to protect herself but she realise it was only a teenager. Just after the girl landed, a tiny light followed her standing on her shoulder. Emma put down her hands looking at the new arrivals with confusion, not knowing if they wanted to hurt them or not.

'You haven't been walking in circles or I would have seen you already.' Tiger Lily waited for them to say something but no one talked. 'My name is Tiger Lily and this is…'

'Tinker Bell' Emma whispered. The little fairy's body tensed.

'How you know my name!' she asked with a pitched voice, Emma couldn't tell if she was angry or not.

'Long story.' Emma sighed. 'Look, we need to get to another realm, is there any magic bean or a magical wardrobe or I don't know maybe an enchanted ship that can take us out of here?'

'Believe me if there were, I would be long gone.' Tiger Lily replied making Emma lose any hope.

'That's just great!' Emma had been angry the last couple of days, and not even the beauty of the island could soothe her mood. She needed to go back to Storybrooke, Henry needed her. The only thought about Henry was both a stab in her stomach and a little push not to give up.

Neal sat under the three with his hands covering his face, Emma looked at him and for the first time since they were in Neverland she looked at him the way she used to look at him when she was seventeen. No, she didn't feel a thing for him but the annoyance of being with him and having to cope how dumb she was for believing in him many years ago was gone.

'I have a deal.' The teenager said after a few moments, Emma and Tinker Bell looked at her with amazement. This was Tiger Lily's opportunity to leave all behind, her future marriage, her duties, even the memories of the boy who wouldn't grow up. 'I know someone who might help you, I will take you to her if you help me.'

'What would you want from me?' Asked Emma, knowing for sure there was nothing she could give to Tiger Lily. 'I have nothing to give.'

'Oh no, I don't want something I want _you_ to take me with you.' Emma's mouth dropped, she wasn't serious

'Look kid, I have a little boy waiting for me already and with one is enough I can't, like adopt you or whatever.'

'I'm not asking for you to adopt me' Tiger Lily said the last two words with disgust. 'And I'm older than you are.' Emma didn't get what she was saying.

'You're like sixteen!' Emma told her as to make her reason.

'This is Neverland, where time stops and you don't grow old.' Tinker Bell replied. Emma threw her head back begging for a divine power to help her.

'Look, I will take you where she is, if she can help you then you take me wherever you want to go and when we arrive that will be our goodbye, you won't see me again.' Emma considered her deal. It wasn't much but it was better than nothing right now.

'Deal, but so you know I know when people lie to me; is my little _trick_ and I will know if you do' Emma said.

'Deal' Tiger Lily smiled, spitting in her hand and offering to Emma so they could close the treatment. Emma looked with disgust her hand.

'Let's not shake hands, okay?' Emma said still disgusted.

* * *

The sky grew darker any step they took, Emma's feet were burning which didn't help to her mood. Neal didn't stop complaining and asking Tinker Bell if she could make him fly. Tinker Bell had punched three times Neal's cheeks with her little fists. As to Tiger Lily she hadn't said a word, she was three or four meters ahead and she never turned around.

For the first time in what appeared to be years, Tiger Lily stopped and sat. Emma looked at her disconcerted.

'We will camp here until the sun comes back.' Tiger Lily said, she had taken a few trunks on the way and started a bonfire quicker than Emma would have thought possible. The last three sat around the fire looking to the sky, it was beautiful how all the colours, deep and dark, decorated the sky with all those stars. Emma hadn't seen anything like it. She looked at the stars once more and Hook's eyes took over her mind, she hugged her knees, she missed him but she trusted him and she knew he was doing everything right now to save Henry.

_At least he is safe in Storybrooke_.- She thought. Tiger Lily was already sleep, when Emma looked down. She didn't know how long she had been looking up to the sky. Neal was looking at her, she could feel it.

'What?' She asked him, more for him to stop looking at her than anything.

'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left you.'

'I thought we had already discussed that Neal.' Emma was annoyed again.

'If the pirate didn't exist would you still reject me?' Neal asked, his voice evidently hurt.

'Hook has nothing to do with this.'

'I just don't understand it.' Neal hadn't shown his anger until now. 'How can you like such a liar and he doesn't have a hand and uses a hook and has this earring and…' Emma didn't let him finish.

'He didn't really lie, he was trying to save me and Henry something you wouldn't understand Neal!' Emma was as angrier as Neal. 'He lost his hand for love, because that's what fucking love does, he doesn't let anybody win. You lost me Neal, and I lost you and we're both losers.' Emma looked how Neal's expression changed but she couldn't say what he was feeling now.

'You know Captain Hook?' Tinker Bell's voice made its way through the silence. Emma looked at her. 'You know Peter?' Her voice was broken.

'Peter? His name is Killian Jones.' Emma answered. Tiger Lily woke up at the sound of Hook's name with falling tears and Tinker Bell's breathe became irregular. Emma didn't know what to do nor what she had done.

'


End file.
